I Didn't Know it At the Time

But I had a deep spiritual hunger. I longed to know God--to understand his book, to have a relationship with this Jesus that I had heard so much about. But I was empty and lost and alone. 

 I was raised in the church, heard the truth preached every week, and was hearing the Bible stories continually. I saw people who had stories to tell of their own change from darkness into light, but and wanted that for myself. But, no matter how many things I did, nothing seemed to change the picture of my lostness. 

Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man comes to the Father, but by me."

~ I want to come to the Father through you -- but how??

"I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep, and am known of mine."

~ How can I know you? How can I know you are real? That you are who you say you are? 

"But you believe not, because you are not of my sheep..."

~ But I want to. I want to, but it doesn't seem to work for me. Maybe it did for others, but not for me. I am just different.

"Believe the works: that you may know, and believe, that the Father is in me, and I in him. I and my Father are one."

~ I know you did so many wonderful things. If I can believe the Bible...

"If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me." "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:"  "Follow me."

~ That feels permanent. A little scary. I am afraid. 

It took a little bit for me to fully surrender, but when I did! Wow! I felt the weight of the world drop off my shoulders. I was a new person. All things became new, and I knew I was a child of God. And in all these years that have passed between then and now, I have grown to love him more and more. I see his hand of mercy on my life. It is a beautiful thing. I am his and he is mine. 

What about you? What are you searching for? What emptiness do you feel? What fears do you hide about eternity?

Why wait?